“. . . the most revolutionary act one can engage in
. . . is to tell the truth."
. . . is to tell the truth."
Howard Zinn, Marx on Soho: A Play on History
Since 1979 I have been researching, writing, and speaking about the need to reform, humanize, and de-commercialize American and global adoption, and restore adoptee rights.
I am author of two internationally acclaimed books and nearly 200 published articles (more than a hundred on Huffington Post, where I have written since Oct. 2014.)
- 2009. Nominated National Association of Social Workers (NASW) Public Citizen of the Year
- 1997-1998. Who’s Who in American Women, 20th edition
- 1989. Recipient “Outstanding Achievement Award to an Author”, People Searching News
THE STORK MARKET: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry (2007).
Excerpts of The Dark Side appeared in:
As a proponent of social justice, equality, and human rights with a focus on the rights of mothers, fathers, children, and families in crisis, since 1980 I have been researching, investigating, and writing to:
- expose the corruption, coercion, exploitation, commodification, and trafficking of children in the mega-billion-dollar under-regulated adoption industry
- oppose all profiteering in adoption
- oppose pre-birth matching and "expenses" paid directly from prospective adopters to expectant mothers
- oppose commercial surrogacy and embryo adoption
- oppose all predatory adoption practices
- staunchly support equal access for adoptees to their original birth certificates.
- oppose pre-birth matching of expectant mothers and those seeking to adopt
- oppose pre-birth contract, illegal in all but three states
As an advocate of family preservation, not adoption separation, all attempts to provide resources for children to remain safely within their extended family must be exhausted before stranger placement is considered.
Out of country placement should be an absolute last resort. Domestic adoption over international needs to be encouraged worldwide.
Children who need care that cannot be safely provided by any family member should be provided a permanent legal guardian. This would give all necessary rights to caretakers without falsifying the adopted perosn's original birth certificate. It is in no person's best interest to have their authentic original birth certificate sealed from them. Nor is it ever necessary or in anyone's bet\st interest to have their vital records falsified. These practices must end and falsification of vital records must end and adoption, as it is currently practiced, needs to be replaced with guardian adoption.
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Risking imprisonment, I reunited hundreds of families separated by adoption and helped mothers prevent unnecessary loss by providing temporary shelter in my home.
In 1980 I co-founded the original Origins, a New Jersey-based national organization for women who lost children to adoption. I was among the very first pioneering mothers to publicly address the lifelong pain of losing a child to adoption and confront the myth that birth mothers asked for or were promised anonymity from their children.
I am former Director of the American Adoption Congress, Past Vice President of Communications of Origins-USA, and a lifetime member of Bastard Nation.
In 1987 Michelle Launder's daughter was murdered by Joel Steinberg who illegally adopted the child he called Lisa. In the Steinberg apartment which was called a "house of horrors," a toddler boy - also illegally adopted - was found in a state of neglect. I worked with authorities to reunite the child Steinberg and Nussbaum called Mitchell with his original family, who had agreed to his adoption under duress. The story of this reunification was covered on The Joan Rivers Show.
I organized a Candlelight Vigil to honor Lisa and to bring attention to the need for adoption reform and adoptee access. It was covered on WNBC-TV New York.
In 1989, I organized a speak-out at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC. It was the culmination of a walk from New York City to Washington DC of adoptees, adoptive parents, and mothers who had lost children to adoption.
Below L - R: Mary Anne Cohen, Sherry Chait and I
Also, that year, at the AAC national conference in NYC, I organized a “red tape” event that garnered media attention to the issue of adoptees being denied access to their birth certificates.
My presentation at the AAC Region 3 conference in October 1989 was entitled “In the ‘Best Interest’ of All: Equal Rights for Adopted-Separated Persons.” The presentation addressed the need to reframe the issue as one of equality.
In 2006, my article: "Dear Bastards Demand Equality" which was published in the Spring/Summer Vol. 8, No 1, BastardQuarterly, I explained why asking for 'open records' - as had been done for decades - was not the best language, and why the approach should be one of equal, human and civil rights.
In April 2009, at the AAC in Cleveland, I presented: "'Open Records' versus 'Equal Access: Reexamining our Goals" again encouraging adoption rights advocates to stop asking for “open records” and instead to frame their argument as one of equal rights. I had the button shown here made.
I have been keynote, invited speaker, and panel member at numerous national and state adoption conferences such as:
- The Association for Research on Mothering Conference, York University, Toronto, Canada 2009. "Mothering and the Environment."
- The 6th Annual PLI Adoption Law Institute Conference panel, “Costs of Adoption: A Survey and Ethical Considerations” 2009.
- The 7th Annual NJ Research Conference on Women, Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey
- The 2007 Adoption Ethics and Accountability Conference sponsored by The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc., Arlington, Va.
- For a complete list of conferences, see my CV.
Bloggers at the Ethics in Adoption Conference 2009.
L-R: Claudia D'Arcy, Suz Bednarz, Bernadette Wright, Mirah Riben
I have appeared as an adoption expert on RT (Russian-American TV network) abandonment of Russian adopted children that led to the ban on Russian adoptions.
I have also appeared on several national television programs including The Morton Downey Jr. Show and The Joan Rivers Show to discuss the Steinberg/Nussbaum murder of their illegally adopted child.
BELOW: Governor Christie signing The NJ Adoptee Birthright Access Bill, 2016
I have been quoted in the following books articles:
- 1988. Sacred Bond: The Legac of Baby M by Phyllis Chesler
- 2001. "Sex and Shame in a Different Era: An "Illegitimate" Daughter Tells Her Birthmother's Story, "by Michele Kriegman
- 2009. "Shot Gun Adoption," by Kathryn Joyce, The Nation
- 2013. The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce
- 2015. "Why We Need a Sperm Donor Sperm Donor 'Sibling Registry'” Lilith
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and lived in Greenwich Village, Manhattan from the age of 17. I waitressed in many of renowned coffee houses such as The Wha and The Why Not where I met and became a lifelong friend of Richie Havens.
In 1968 I was pressured to lose my firstborn child to adoption receiving no support to keep my family intact. Like so many women of my generation I was assured it was the loving, unselfish thing to do, for the "best," and I was assured I would "put it behind me" and get on with my life. I never forgot!
In 1969 I became Associate Editor of three magazines at Volitant/Histrionic Publishing, 21 West 26 Street, NYC.
In 1971 I married and moved to New Jersey. I was a full-time at-home mother to three children and a La Leche League Leader. I was class mother and active with their scouts.
During the 70s and 80s I also took in foster children, co-founded Origins, housed expectant mothers in need, reunited hundreds of adoption-separated families, and wrote my first book.
In 1995, more than a decade after I began my research, support, and activism in adoption, my first daughter succumbed to depression. It was then I learned that adoptees attempt suicide four times more often than their non-adopted contemporaries.
In this old blog post, I share my thoughts on whether my involvement in adoption is an Obsession or Commitment. This video speaks to me.
Last updated 8/31/17